As soon as graduating from high school, ı was appointed.Because ı graduated from nursery school.Mental chances came out because of leaving family and beganning to work in early ages.There were religious people who are member of different sects around me.They were inviting me to their sect but some of their behaviors became reason of some doubts.My family was religious family and ı was a turbaned person graduating from ımam-preacher secondary school .At first,ı gave up preying then being turbaned then ı did all bad things such as alcohol,furnication.I hope my God forgive me… There was a my friend and we were doing whatever we wants together.At first times ı was sorry for doing sins and bad things and ı was repenting but as long as time passed ı began to not to be sorry and repent, ı was getting enjoy from something ı done anymore.My family,people around me were warning me but ı was not care of them.I thought that they were envying me.
One day ı came across with a man.He made marriage proposal to me.He was a religious man.I accepted his offer.I dont know how it happened but we got married in three month.I was sorry for my old life and ı fall into the void.I didnt know what to do , sometime ı was even missing my old life but ı couldnt do my old habit because ı was married woman anymore.
There were sufi people among my relatives.When they came together ,they weere talking about menzil.It was weird to me but ı was jealous of them really.I was saying myself that ı mıght be sufi.I was wondering about the sheikh in Adıyaman.I was considering about having a murshıd.I began to search about all sects.My mother said”you shold be member of your husband sect.It would be beter for you.”My husband is member of a sect which is a any other brach of naqshbendi.I request my husband to say women in his sects that ı like to become a member of their sect but everytime he forgot to say.So ı thought that ı was not destined in that sect.
I live in Ankara.Our Gaws(Q.A) came Ankara a few times for his illness.I intented to visit him a few times but ı couldnt.One day my work friend called me said that Gaws(Q.A) had came there for opening ceremony of a complex.I accepted and we went there.
Oh My Dear God!!! I began to cry before parking car.Air was smelling so good.There was a spiritual atmosphere.I said my friend”my place is here.”We waited for repenting before mid-day prey.We waited for ours under the burning sun with my one year-old boy.
Finally he came… Oh My God what such beautiful smelling!What such majestic walking!!! Am ı crying my God? What such effective voice and what such effective accent,localism.”OH MY DEAR GOD . I AM SORRY FOR ALL SINS I HAVE DONE.I WISH I HADNT DONE.WITH THE HELP OF GOD I WILL NOT DO THEM AGAIN.”
I was crying and ı was feeling myself as if ı sticked in to the ground.I have never become so cordial like that.And ı fall in to the love with Gaws(Q.A).I went home and made instructions.My dear Gaws(Q.A) stayed here for a week and ı visited him everyday.Going with child was hard but ı was not care of it.He was like a magnet.He was attracting me like a magnet.When ı dint see him , ı couldnt get breath.With help of my God last month ı went menzil and ı saw my dear Gaws(Q.A).I drank his soup.ı made health serving for sake of God.I hope my God accept it.I witnessed a lot of glazed event in menzil.Right now ı am going crayz to see him again.With the help of sadats ı do my religious jobs. I have peaceful family.What such good something doing something for sake of God.What such good something listening our hearth.I HOPE EVEYBODY BECOME MEMBER OF THİS SECT.I HOPE WE DONT GIVE UP THIS SECT.